Unprofessionals in Law

December 7, 2011

When you’re in trouble, best not to keep digging

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News reaches us from Bridgewater, Connecticut about lawyers kicking sand in each other’s faces.

An ongoing spat between attorney Paul Garlasco and ‘First Selectman‘ Bill Stuart climaxed in the police being called when Stuart received a suspect package. Recognising the handwriting as that of Garlasco, Stuart asked the cops to open it, fearing the worst.

But rather than being anything explosive, the contents proved to be rather more innocent. ‘It was some kind of kid’s excavation toys, stuff for the sandbox,’ said Stuart. ‘And there was something in there about ‘Little Billy can fix his wet spots.”

The gag is thought to be a reference to an action in which Stuart is being sued for allegedly damaging wetlands in the town for the convenience of a horse farm business.

Garlasco denied responsibility, but was arrested when a postal worker identified him as the culprit.

‘What was in the box?’ Garlasco asked. ‘Was it white powder, was it a dead skunk? I don’t need to send a dead skunk or whatever because I got him by the tail. I’m not going to send somebody a package when I got him by the short hairs.’

We can expect similarly inspirational rhetoric when the case hits the courts in December. AB

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