Your vacation choice speaks volumes about your lawyering

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It’s the question on everyone’s lips. What can you tell about lawyers by the holidays they choose? We asked leading think tank Demos to answer this question once and for all. But when they discovered we wouldn’t pay them they put the phone down, so we looked on the internet instead.

Nevertheless, we believe that this is a major contribution to legal psychology. Heed well the wisdom that follows.

European capital. You consider yourself a sophisticate and are drawn to deals featuring glamorous brands and with strong intellectual content. You are fond of peppering your advice with continental phrases, such as soupcon, al fresco and achtung. That said, you can also be incredibly patronising to colleagues. God forbid you should have to work with anyone who wears an M&S tie or hasn’t seen the director’s cut of A Bout De Souffle.

Golf resort. You see yourself as one of the good guys. You have an unpretentious home just outside Chelmsford, a Peugeot on the drive and a Black and Decker Workmate in the garage. Your secretary is called Sue. You add most value to the firm by being a regular stand-up lawyer who likes to take his clients to the races and the rugby. Your pet hate is clever lawyers – why do they always have to complicate things?

Tropical island. Life is too short not to have extreme experiences – including malaria. You flit from deal to deal, from client to client (maybe even from firm to firm) because you’re scared of not having all the experiences the industry can offer. You are therefore deeply unreliable. Your colleagues call any team you join ‘Project 99′, because it has a flake in it.

Festivals. Oh, grow up.

Cruise. You like to go with the flow, sitting on your spongy backside and seeing where others will take you. You know bits about lots of aspects of law, but nothing in any depth – before you’ve really got to know your way around any area, you up sticks and go somewhere else.

Camping. You’re happy to put lots of work in for little return. Consequently, you’re one of the guys putting in the hard yards back at the office whilst colleagues are ‘strategising’ at the nearest Corney & Barrow. You’re wary of spending too much money in case you get fired, and wary of showing off too much in case you antagonise someone senior and get fired. And you’re right to be scared. Your colleagues think you’re the dullest thing since socks, and you’re slated to be let go by Christmas. AB







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